Little Yellow Bowl My little yellow bowl broke today, its handle finally succumbing to 34 years of regular use and hot dishwashers. It’s not much of a bowl. Plastic, part of a set long gone. And I was surprised at the rush of emotion I felt. You see, my mother-in-law gave me that bowl. She gave me the whole set as part of a large box of utensils and bowls and dishcloths and other kitchen things her son and I would need as we set up our first home together. While many may not see that as such a big deal, it was. I was most decidedly not her choice for her son. And yet, she still did this thoughtful thing. I use that bowl for nearly everything. It has a little spout, making it perfect for pouring pancake batter on a hot griddle or cake mix into cupcake tins. And every time I used it over the years, I thought about her. The rest of the contents of that box are mostly long gone. But the little yellow bowl hung in there, for 34 years. My mother-in-law and I had what can ta...
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Is that really possible? In chemistry, perhaps. But in life? With real people? Can we step into the lives of others, “cause activity,” and quietly walk away, unchanged, unaffected? Do those who stir our respective pots feel no flexing of their muscle, no straining of sinew, sense none of the fragrance arising from the kettle? Do they not feel the smoothness of the ladle in their hand or sense resistance as their stirring drags through our lives?
One might say that I am affected only if I chose to be...if I ‘agree’ to allowing you some impact in my life. But even being faced with the choice is, in itself, an affect, caused by your stirring.
Can we take any action that does not serve as a catalyst for some other, in some way, albeit small, spurring on the activities of others much like a stone dropped in a puddle sends out its ripples? At what point do we become truly intertwined, each of us seeking reinforcement, nurture, affirmation, connection from another? And when we untangle ourselves, is it possible to know the defining moment when the affect ends? Can it ever?
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